beyond pissed

I go away on a mini vacation, a little R&R while hubs does some CME.  I come home to house that looks like a pizza bomb exploded, a sick child (double freakin' ear infection, thank you) --- salad from saturday night in the living room floor (did they eat on the floor because of the pizza bomb) a trash can over flowing (hello, are ya waiting for it to grow legs and walk to the trash bin outside)?  And then I come to find a little release with blogger only to find that blogger has eaten all my previous post prior to April, reset my counter, and deleted my comments?  Great Day.  I am headed back to the spa, the old bleached blonde, washed up playboy bunny that was lounging by the pool has got to still be there and at this point I am in desperate need a good laugh.  I can only how her partner is there with his man boobs.

R.I.P

It happened - just the other day - before my trip.

The passing of a best friend.

R.I.P. BOB (battery operated boyfriend)

If I had buried you rather than dumping you in the can (after removing your heart ie 2 double A's)

I would have eulogized you in this manner

BOB

Your arrival in the unmarked brown box the same day I returned home from the maternity ward having just spat out babe #2 is a day I will never forget

You were there without fail, tucked softly into the bedside table, you were my first BOB.

Sometimes it was just the two of us, sometimes the hubs.  You never were jealous if you went untouched for months - You even enjoyed participating in our weekend get a ways.

I cried when after years of true companionship you... well lets face it broke.

I laughed when hubs suggested I send you in for repairs and then laughed harder when he suggested they may send a loaner while you were away.  But at the end of the day you were beyond repair.

Ahh, the memories.  But it is time you and I have moved on, and for the record ... it is not me, it is you.  

And in light of your passing - I am moving on and investing in your cousin Big BOB!

Rest in Peace

Thirsty Thursday @ One Drink Away

Something yummy for your long weekend.

1 (12oz) can frozen limeade concentrate

12 oz tequila

12 oz white wine (try a zinfandel)

1 (12oz) bottle of Corona

mix all the above into a pitcher, give a gentle stir and serve over ice.

Relax with the latest gossip mag and let hubs bathe those kids or heck if schools out skip the bath and put them to bed early so you can share this yummy concoction with hubs. And dream that you are here:

Traveling

We are getting ready to travel for Easter weekend.  

Traveling in the car with small children is not my idea of a vacation.

Before hubs and I had children (BC) we use to pack up for a day trip.

It was one of my favorite things to do BC.

We would just pick a place and drive.

It was relaxing. No rules, no agenda.

There was always a great little place to pull over and enjoy a picnic or a fun little cafe with outside tables. 

Now it is McDonald's or the dollar menu at Wendy's.

Yes, I know there will be time again for our little road trips as the little bits get older.

But when I think ahead to our days on the road I am reminded of road trips with my parents.  

As an only child it was pretty boring.  We lived on the east coast and my family lived in the mid-west.  Christmas was always time to travel home.  We'd leave early long before sun up.  My parents would make me a pallet in the backseat of the car.  Long before seat belts were law.  As a matter of fact I think when I was really little my parents just cut out the seat belts.  The seats were always really slippery so I would slip around as I tried to sleep.  It was horrible.  Both my parents smoked.  As everyone did in the 70's and when we traveled in the winter they'd light up with the widows rolled up tight as can be.  I guess if this wasn't enough to scar me the fact that my father always wanted to make really good time and would not stop to use the bathroom did.  If I needed to go he'd pull over on the interstate and we'd open the front and back car doors for me to go in between.  Which was better than what took place when he needed to go.  He'd ask my mom for an empty coke bottle and go to the bathroom (number 1) as we were driving down the interstate.  Keep in mind you could not see from the back what was going on, & I was smart enough to keep my eyes diverted as well.  I figured I'd spend enough time on this little issue in therapy later in life  so there was no need to see anything that would just add to my future therapy sessions.  What about you what do you remember about childhood trips?

Why You Don't Drink A $2.39 Bottle of Wine

Given the current economic times, I have tried to save money in many ways.  The last of which is shoes and wine.  But the other day I was shopping in one of the huge warehouse style stores for supplies and ran across wine for $2.39.  Chardonnay (which I don't drink unless it is Cakebreak), Merlot and a Shiraz.  I thought to myself "hey, $2.39....what the heck, why not".  

When my husband asked what kinds of specials I found, I debated on telling him about the wine.  Sure it is great to say "I found toilet paper that doesn't feel like you are wiping your arse with tree bark 12 rolls for $2.39"  But hey "i found this great wine for $2.39" notsamuch.  I figure let him try it and we'll see.

A few nights later he is out grilling and I am chilling the wine in our "only works half the time Brookstone wine chiller".  Pour him a glass and he takes a sip. "not bad".  I'll give him that it wasn't bad.  Wow - have I stumbled on to a recession priced wine.  The bottle was quickly finished and we were off to bed.  For some mind blowing - oh wait before I even got my sexy teddy on my head was pounding.   UGH, now I remember why cheap wine is better left on the shelf.  

Note to self... forgo the cheap wine.

Facebook - When an Old Boyfriend Finds You

Dilemma... You open your morning email and have a new friend request.  O, who was looking for me last night?  Well, I'll be...it is an old boyfriend.  The great thing about Facebook is that if they initiate the "friendship" then you have a chance to look at their profile and pictures before you decide if they are friend worthy.  The questions race through your mind.

Is he married?

Is she fat?

Is he fat?

Will he think I am fat?

It has been years since we have seen each other.  Did we break up on bad terms or was it a "it's not you it's me" kinda break up.

I try to wipe away the cobwebs - oh yes. 

We dated what 4 years?

We were promised. (does anyone do this anymore?)

We broke up a number of times, always me the "melodramatic" girlfriend.

I loved the drama

I loved him crying and saying he wanted me back

I was a bitch, yes, but hey I was a young girl with a power I had yet to understand.

But our last break up was a bad one (hence it being the last break up).

I said it was over (for like the 1045th time)

He left

THIS time he did not call

he did not come back to my apartment a few hours later.

THIS pissed me off.

Why wasn't he calling, driving by, trying to get me back.

After a few hours, I do the psycho drive by of his apartment.

car not there

What?? Where the....

Drive around the semi-small town in the early am hours (2ish am)

What would my parents think.

Then I pull into a popular after hours hangout.

There is HIS car.

I head inside.

He is sitting at a table eating with his best bud, his best buds girlfriend and what appears to be her "little" friend.

AND he is holding her hand.

Talk about moving on.

So now as the memories flood my mind - DO I REALLY WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND NOW... all these years later?

Well, sure after all I have moved on.  

And his wife is NOT the "little" friend.

So I click "confirm" friend.

And change my profile picture to one that is just a little sexier.

Let him be the one filled with regret.